


if you try sometimes you get what you need

by mariewinter



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: 3x03 wrecked me, F/F, bonnalise is alive everybody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 00:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8230489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariewinter/pseuds/mariewinter
Summary: “Häagen-Dazs?” Bonnie asked, lips twitching.
“Häagen-Dazs,” Annalise confirmed.
Or: Bonnie takes Annalise up on her offer, and they have a slumber party of sorts.





	

**Author's Note:**

> listen, i wrote this and did not read it through and posted it all when i was VERY sleep-deprived so if you find any mistakes or if this is as horrible and rushed as i think it is, just overlook it and think about annalise and bonnie making fun of shitty movies and eating ice cream together ok bye!

“You could sleep here. I could tell Nate to leave. We can eat ice cream in bed, watch a bad movie.”

“I won't call the police.”

“I just don't see any reason why you should be alone.”

Bonnie's breath caught in her throat. She felt another tear slip down her cheek, traitorously, dripping wet down her jaw and down on her skirt somewhere, and as her hand rose to rub at a temple, she discreetly slid a thumb over her face to keep more tears at bay, catching one and wiping it away. For a moment she thought she wanted to have Annalise do that for her, have the woman lean forward and take her face in both hands, gently. Kiss her forehead, maybe her cheek. Maybe her lips.

But Annalise didn't do that, of course. Bonnie let loose the sigh that had been building in her throat, and it turned out shakier than she'd intended. “I'm just tired,” she said, and felt Annalise's understanding eyes on her, and it felt odd. Odd like earlier today had felt. _I love you, you know that,_ as Annalise tore open packets of junk food. 

It felt kind. Annalise felt kind, and she was so rarely like that – it was more than odd, and odder still was that it felt _real,_ and true and genuine and it broke Bonnie's heart and pieced it back together again.

In a way, it was all she'd ever wanted. Kindness. Offers from Annalise like she had just given – relaxing together, watching a shitty movie, curled up in bed together with separate tubs of ice cream, their spoons sometimes dipping into eachother's tub to steal a bite of the chocolate or the strawberry.

Annalise was looking at her, her face soft like it usually wasn't and – Bonnie swallowed. “Okay,” she whispered, feeling like her voice would crack if she spoke any louder than that softened murmur.

“Okay?”

“Okay,” she confirmed, standing, and she felt uneven and shaky like a newborn calf on her feet, but then Annalise stood after her and linked their fingers and took her up the stairs. 

Upstairs, it was bright and Annalise turned all the lights on in her bedroom, along with the TV, and she squeezed Bonnie's hand briefly and then let go and said, “I'll be right back,” and disappeared out of the room again. Bonnie watched that spot, ignoring whatever was on the TV, until the woman returned in the doorway, brandishing two small tubs of ice cream.

“Häagen-Dazs?” Bonnie asked, lips twitching.

“Häagen-Dazs,” Annalise confirmed, crossing the room and falling down onto the bed after kicking her heels off. There was nothing quiet and dark and seductive about this; and, though it took Bonnie a moment to process it, she realized that there wouldn't be. Annalise's offer had been genuine, and her own agreement to it had been genuine, and this ice cream was cold and frosted on her fingertips and she sank her spoon into it and led it into her mouth, and it was –

Everything was _real,_ and something in her uncoiled, and for a moment she wanted to cry again, but not for the same reasons as before. She knew Annalise must have seen something in her face, and she knew that it _had_ shifted, knew that for a moment it crumpled and her eyes stung.

Bonnie took a breath, sharp and heavy, and then let it out in one shuddering gust of air. Then, she wiped her eyes and cleared her throat and, after an expectant look from Annalise, removed her own shoes and climbed onto the bed beside the other woman, settling against the headboard. “What are we watching?”

Annalise smiled.

 

—

 

She woke curled up at the foot of the bed, a blanket covering her – a blanket that, she knew, had not been there when she'd fallen asleep halfway through a movie that _was_ just as bad as Annalise said it was – and the lights all turned off. The TV was still on, its considerably bright glow flickering in varying colors across the darkened walls. The blanket didn't cover her completely; her feet were bare and cold, and she curled them beneath herself as she sat up, freezing as soon as she realized that Annalise was still there.

And sleeping; sprawled out on her side facing Bonnie, eyes closed. An instinct rose within her to wake the woman up just so she could remove her makeup before it stained the pillows, but she looked so peaceful like this, her face relaxed in sleep, and Bonnie couldn't move an inch or say a word.

Hazily blinking the exhaustion from her eyes, she looked to the clock. _3:37._ She'd slept...longer than she thought she would have, to be certain, and dreamlessly too. Peacefully. She knew that the right thing to do was to get up, as quietly as possible, and leave. Go home and start working, or go downstairs and start working. Downstairs would be better – by the time Annalise got up she could have breakfast and a cup of coffee waiting for her and they'd never talk about this.

And they'd likely never do it again, which was disappointing, severely so, in a way Bonnie couldn't describe but it felt like her innards were tied around an anchor that was pulling them down, down, down to the very depths of herself. Cold, dark, lonely depths.

Bonnie swallowed; even that seemed too obnoxiously loud in the quiet of the room, the volume of the TV turned low, and she thought of how Annalise must have seen her sleeping and had drawn a blanket over her. That Annalise had even thought of that was...

Nice. It was nice. Nice, like the ice cream that they'd eaten a few hours ago, nice like the awful, cringeworthy movie that they'd watched and laughed about together, nice like how she fell asleep in warm brightness and woke up in the cold dark, but with Annalise beside her and a blanket wrapped around her.

She sighed and laid down again, promising herself to work just after another thirty minutes of sleep, perhaps even an hour—she slept for two, and dreamed of nothing.


End file.
